All the King's Horses and all the King's Men
by Triela'sTheory
Summary: Series of drabbles, one shots and ficlets about Captain Swan, varying timeline.
1. Guys with Accents

AN's- Hey guys, this is just going to be a series of one shots and ficlets of Captain Swan. I used to write here years ago under another name but that account somehow escaped me. Anyway, this one came about after watching a segment with Graham. She really likes those heavy accents. End AN.

..

The sunlight streamed in over their forms as the alarm gently buzzed. That alarm was promptly and violently hit with a hook, destroying it.

"Did you kill another alarm clock?" Sleep was still heavy in her speech as she rolled over to face the morning. This wasn't the first time this happened. Or the second. Or the seventh. Despite living with that particular appendage for centuries, Killian Jones was having difficulty with certain electronic devices. The microwave had been a fiasco and the smoldering wreckage of the grill was in the town's dump, probably still smoldering.

"Love, it is not my fault if they can't handle it." Despite just waking up, he looked good. Like, sinfully good. So good it was almost unfair. Deep eyes and slightly tousled hair, that gorgeous chest and the devilish smile. She'd keep him, despite his issues blending in with the modern era.

She sighed and turned over again.  
"You're so lucky I like guys with accents."

Beat.

"Guys? What guys, love? And wait, accent? What accent do I have? Emma? DO NOT GO BACK TO SLEEP!"

-+Review?


	2. Proximity Alert

Proximity Alert

AN's note: Seriously, go back and check. She grabbed him pretty early. He was nowhere near that wire.

- :)

"You're completely wrong, I did what was necessary to stop you from falling over that trip wire. You should be thanking me."

The lights were low in Granny's as Emma raised her beer glass to her lips. She had come there alone, Henry was with Regina and Hook had found her. Originally, she hadn't be open to the company but with some time, conversation, alcohol and the looks from Ruby which could only be described as suggestive, she gradually found herself opening up to the good captain.

After Neverland, Hook gave her space. Neal was gone, back to New York. No one expected he'd stay after that but everyone once in a while Henry would go visit him. Emma was relieved but a part of her felt like something was missing. That sense of adventure every day was brutal on the adrenaline but it was something primal, something she now missed. Going back to Storybrooke as Sheriff had some interesting cases and as much as she freaking hated Neverland, it had been a rollercoaster.

Back home she'd patrol up and down the streets and see Hook out of the corner of her eye with that smile. He'd amended his clothes slightly, trading in the trenchcoat for a shorter black leather coat. But he never confronted her. Which was good. Kissing is fun, emotions are hard. She didn't really know what to say to him. He said he'd win her heart. He'd need patience and a sledgehammer for those walls that Mary Margaret said existed.

Doubly uncomfortable with her now boring existence and uneasiness with her love life, Emma sought an audience with a beer glass and some well timed one liners from Ruby.

When Hook had swirled in, Emma buried herself in finishing her round. There was no way he could miss her.

"Trying to drown yourself, love? There's better ways to do it. I have some perfectly aged rum aboard the Jolly that's begging to be opened."

She slid him a look. Well, he wouldn't be Hook without a mountain of innuendo.

"I prefer beer actually." She ignored the obvious implications. Snow was melting on his hair. She frowned.

"When did it start snowing?"

"About an hour ago, lass. You look like you've been busy." Emma signaled Ruby for another round and when her drink came Hook's signature rum was sitting next to it on the tray. Her frown deepened.

"I hate snow." Hook threw an arm back over the booth and reclined. His smiling face erupted into laughter.

"Am I to understand lass, that you who fought dragons, defeated ogres, demon children and escaped from Neverland are afraid of snow?"

She bristled. "I'm not afraid, I just hate being cold. Neverland though a terrible place was balmy and comfortable." She put down the glass and glanced into his blue eyes. "The most time I spent in one place was in a much warmer climate." Tallahassee. To her surprise, he nodded in agreement.

"The Jolly's generally used to warmer weather, I'll give you that. It's easier to sleep out under the stars when bloody ice isn't falling from the sky. Though, I'm always happy to warm you up, love," he concluded with a wink. Emma flushed red, hoping Hook wouldn't catch that. Of course he did. He noticed everything about her.

"What, are we bonding now?" Emma had a half smile on her face. She never really knew if he was serious or just talked a big game. It was almost unnerving talking… oh all right, flirting with Hook sometimes.

"Over cheap rum, Swan? I suppose so. We've bonded plenty of times before though."

Emma's heart started beating faster. She did not want to talk about the kiss in front of the rest of Granny's, who were already staring.

Hook continued. "Yes, for instance, in the hold with the giant all you needed to do, love, was to hold me if you wanted to. I was plenty far away from that trip wire."

Emma's eyes narrowed.

"You're completely wrong, I did what was necessary to stop you from falling over that trip wire. You should be thanking me. I saved your ass, Jones."

"Love, there was good few feet in between me and that wire. My ass was in no danger."

"If that trap had fallen you probably still would have been up, starving while Anton broke the rest of your limbs. Admit it, Jones."

He laughed again and took a swig of his rum.

"Debatable, darling. Is this before or after you chained me to the rock because you wanted a head start?"

Emma scowled. She wasn't particularly fond of remembering that moment. And yeah, it didn't show the best judgment. She had screwed herself royally.

"Forgive and forget, right?" Hook folded his arms before him on the table. He knew he had her in check, he moved in for checkmate.

"Funny, I never heard an apology about that." He was playing with her and they both knew it. Emma flushed red again. He was closer now and she could almost feel the heat radiating off him. She swallowed hard. Might as well.

"Sorry, Hook. I thought it was the best move at the time." Emma quickly drained her drink and slipped some money onto the table. As quickly as she could she slipped out of the booth. "I need to head out." She hoped he wasn't going to follow her out. Avoiding Ruby's eyes, she pushed the door open and heard the familiar clang of the bell ring.

It was still snowing lightly. Emma pulled her hat on and gloves because damn, it was freezing out. She almost missed Neverland. Neverland with its demon children and psychotic mermaids and death plants of doom…ok scratch that. She just misses the temperature. It was easier not having to explain yourself there.

"I told you it was still snowing."

Hook materialized in front of her from the side of a building. How did he get there so fast? She must be more tipsy than she thought.

"Holy hell, Hook!" Her heart was racing. Add being scared to the list of things she wasn't good at dealing with. It would go near feelings, across from tender moments and down the list from talking about her past.

"Did I frighten you?" His glance was indistinguishable.

"You know, after Neverland, I thought I'd get used to shadows from no where. Apparently not."

She ran her gloved hand over her eyes. It was getting late but he really wasn't going anywhere.

Hook's face showed wariness in it that Emma wasn't used to.

"Believe it or not, I am sorry about that. It was stupid to chain you up. I didn't know if I could trust you." She shrugged and averted her eyes. His gaze was too intense.

Hook's expression mellowed as the snow fell. He moved closer and starting brushing the snow off her hair with the good hand.

For once, she didn't really mind the proximity.

And she would be lying if she said she didn't know how far away that wire was.

"Oh, I know, love. " He bent over so that he was right next to her ear. "And you never have to stand on principle if you want to hold me again." He quickly kissed her cheek and looked her in the eyes for a brief moment. She was frozen momentarily.

"Jones!" Her voice rang out through the air, muffled slightly by the snow fall. About 10 feet away, he turned with that deep smile on his face.

"I'll see you around," she finished lamely. Really Swan? Out of everything you could say. She winced internally. The warmth of his lips was now more acutely felt with the snow coating her face. She blushed again. That familiar sense of adventure and challenge was back. Maybe it was the alcohol talking but she barely felt the cold anywhere else. He bowed deeply.

"As milady wishes." He turned to go with a grin.

"And you were going to trip!"

"No bloody way, love."

-Review?


	3. Jolly Sailor Bold

AN- Yes, I stole this from Pirates of the Caribbean 4. No judging. It seems to fit pretty well.

xxxxxxx

Emma was at the point of pulling her hair out. No, it wasn't Gold. He and Belle were living blissfully. It wasn't Regina either. She had mellowed out after Neverland, taking Henry every couple of days. Their arrangement was basically with whoever he wanted to go with. He switched off to be fair and today he was with Regina.

It wasn't Snow or Charming either. They were happily trying for another child. And while seeing their obnoxious grins all the time was a bit grating, that wasn't even the issue.

It wasn't work. After the curse was broken, people had basically settled down. There were some occasional squabbles, "He took my chicken!" or "He confiscated my hoe!". Emma had tried not to laugh hysterically at that last one. She occasionally had to tell Dr Whale that it wasn't kosher to operate drunk but otherwise, the town wasn't doing too bad. Besides, Ruby was getting him to clean up anyway.

It wasn't Neal either. After Tamara's death and the whole, "I love you but I basically wish you were dead" thing, well, he cleared off back to New York. He said he'd come back for the holidays but Emma was pretty clear on where they stood. He knew he was always welcome with Henry's care, but a few weeks after the Neverland voyage, he packed up and knocked on Emma's door to say farewell. She had a twisting sensation in her heart but seeing his form walking away, well, she felt relieved. Henry took it better than she thought. Actually he took it the best. "Well of course Mom. He wasn't your True Love." She could see the capital letters as he spoke. He loved his dad but it was pretty clear he and Emma had a special relationship. He'd always choose her. So it wasn't Henry either.

It wasn't even Hook. Their...thing...whatever it was was going slowly. As he said, he was a patient man and it was a good thing he liked a challenge. Slowly was the key word. Aside from the kiss she'd planted on him the day after they landed, there wasn't much going on. And that was ok. She was a glacial relationship type of girl at least when it came to feelings. There was that one time the day after they landed back in Storybrooke. She had walked up the gangplank, pinned him to the main mast and gave no quarter. It wasn't like their Neverland kiss, all hot, desperate and full of longing. This was more chaste, still wild but more comfortable. More familiar. Her hands had twisted behind his neck and she could feel his hook on her low back as his good hand snaked up through her hair.

"Another one time thing, Swan?" He asked, eyes dark after sundown. He was obviously enjoying himself but after his whole, "I didn't think I'd love another woman again" well, understandably she'd been a bit jittery. He didn't want to push.

But a man unwilling to fight for what he wants deserves what he gets. Hook was fighting as hard as she'd let him.

"Not unless you want it to be." She looked up at him nervously. His face broke into a Cheshire grin and clamped down on her mouth again with gusto.

"Love, I'd like nothing more than to wake up with you in my bed every morning."

She flushed and whacked him in the chest. "Don't get ahead of yourself, buddy. Let's see how this goes."

So no, it wasn't Hook either.

So why was Emma so frustrated?

It was pretty simple actually.

She had a song stuck in her head.

Not just any song. A song about pirates.

It was one of those really catchy tunes that infiltrates the corners of your mind and just latches on and will not let go until it's replaced by an equally catchy tune.

So when Emma went to the Jolly Roger that night with it cycling in her head for a few days, well, she was a bit twitchy. Henry actually asked his grandmother if his mom was having her 'time of the month'. She was not. Actually, she really resented the implication.

"Emma, love, you look annoyed." They were on the deck of the Jolly and it was a warm night for the fall. There was a slight breeze across the deck, barely enough to fluff the sails. Emma had decided on dinner on the deck. Burgers from Granny's weren't much but he was taking to modern food pretty well. She picked at her fries absentmindedly.

"I'm not, I'm good."

Hook rolled his eyes, which is actually pretty comical for a pirate wearing eyeliner.

"I'd say you look more than just good." Hook eyeballed her up and down in his usual cocky I-can-seduce-you-with-just-my-hook mannerisms. "Tell me the truth. Is it Henry?" Emma was touched. Henry seemed to love Hook, and not just in a "you're a pirate and that's SO COOL" way. No, both seemed genuinely fond of each other. It was a mystery to Hook too. He had never dreamed of being a father figure past Bae. Henry always wanted to hang out with Hook and show him his story book. Not that he would ever tell Emma but he'd teach the boy to steer the Jolly yet.

"No, he's with Regina tonight. He's fine unless you know something I don't."

"Work?" Hook frowned. He didn't like the idea that she was the only one guarding the town but he chalked that up to a 'savior' thing.

"No, that's good too."

"Love, then why do you look a mermaid gutted your dog?"

She flushed again. "It's really stupid," He motioned with his hook for her to go on.

"I have a song stuck in my head."

Beat.

"That's what's causing you to be grumpier than that dwarf?" He laughed long and loud.

"Go on then, let's hear it."

"Hear what?"

"The song that's driving you insane, darling."

"Hook, I am not a singer. At all. When I was in school they used to put me in the back of the classroom."

He put down his glass of rum. "Swan. I want to hear it."

"If your ears start bleeding then it's your own fault."

She cleared her throat and looked out over the water.

"My heart is pierced by Cupid

I disdain all glittering gold

There is nothing can console me

But my jolly sailor bold."

Hook had a curious look on his face. "Love, do you know any more of that song?"

She looked up in surprise. "Do you know it?"

"I heard of it a long time ago in port. The bar owner's wife was singing it to my crew as we were drinking. My question is, where did you hear it?"

"It's in a movie from a few years back. I watched it the other day and it won't leave my head."

"No wonder. Clearly it reminds you of me." Hook had the look of a preening peacock.

"What makes you think you're my jolly sailor bold?" Emma looked him in the eye with a sly smile.

"Because I took my ship through a portal for you, fought off a vicious child, helped to rescue your son, saved your life multiple times and your family's, and got you home safely."

"Oh, is that all?"

"Well, love, because a man who fights for what he wants deserves what he gets."

Hook pulled Emma over into his lap and placed a kiss on her. She instantly flooded with warmth.

"And there are no other sailors around here."

xxxxxx

Please review? I love all the follows and favorites but reviews make me all happy inside


	4. Tinkering Inklings

Tinkering Inklings

Spoilers for the most recent episode-

That look on Emma's face is priceless. Just a drabble from her POV on that couple second window. Because let's face it, many of us just have a massive stream of consciousness.

;)

They came out together, Hook and Tinker Bell. Why were they together? And more importantly, why does this bother me?

It doesn't. I mean, Hook can do whatever he wants. He's a grown pirate.

"Were you two…?"

"No!" and "Maybe" at the same time is a bad omen generally. So what's with this nasty twisting inside? Jealousy? I'm not jealous! Of Tinker Bell and Hook?

Well…maybe. No! I mean, it's not like we're together. And it was just one kiss. One really amazing, mind blowing, sweet kiss. That of course meant nothing. Because I said it was a one time thing.

I mean, the look on Tink's face. She looked pretty horrified at the notion. And Hook's a bastard but I doubt he'd ever take advantage of a girl. After all, "blah blah, I'm a pirate, I can seduce women easily, blah blah, sexual innuendo."

I just got some bile in the back of my throat thinking about that. "Blah blah sex joke, let's look into my charming and deep eyes," because let's face it, a man like that is just too good looking for his own good. Not like I'd ever tell him that. His ego is swollen enough as is. And his head. I'm sure his south pole is pretty engorged too all the time. Again, not like I actively think about anything along that line. Nope. Not any of the time.

But back to my point. I mean, Hook and Tink? Bad move. Again, he can do what he wants but I can't really see that working out. I mean, if they're together, good for them I guess. They're adults. I mean, how old is Hook really? Does he ever age? I really have to ask him that later. Cause he looks good for his age. Whatever it is.

And come on, I mean, I know Tink's spent a long time on an island but she can do better than the one handed womanizing wonder. She's pretty and a bit of a spit fire. Pretty sure that's his type though. Then again, female is his type. I don't recall a single female he didn't flirt with throughout most of our journeys. Except Regina but…well…

Moving on. Adults. Yeah. But for an adult he makes a lot of stupid choices. And there was that one time when he failed to kill Gold THEN got hit by a car. Which of course wasn't funny. At all.

"There are all sorts of places I can make you hurt." May not have been one of my best moves. I mean, I'm sure David would have no problem putting him back in the hospital if he messes with Tinker Bell. Good for Dr Whale, bad for the hand cuff business. I digress. Hook makes a lot of stupid choices. We know this.

When's he going to learn that his choices affect other people?

So…something with Henry. What were we talking about?

:)

Review please, no really, they make my day.

;-)


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